Everything changed for me when I found out I was having a baby girl. I realized in that moment that all I knew how to teach her was how to hate herself.
I’d spent my life hating my body, believing in the false notion that until I was able to be beautiful in a very specific way that I was not worthy. Of love. Acceptance. Good things.
I’d grown up in a cultural narrative that women are to be small, ashamed, quiet and of service to everyone but themselves. I’d experienced abuse and trauma as though it was a right of passage. I blamed myself for violence at others’ hands.
I wanted to give my daughter a fighting chance at autonomy, self-governance outside of the confines I’d been handed. But to do so I had to embody something completely different.
From there the journey toward myself has been full of facing my own darkness. Uncovering uncomfortable lies I’d been telling myself. Looking at my past head on. Layers on layers of damaging ideas about myself and others. But at each new layer I find myself feeling more free from the impossible expectations I used to worship.
I aspire to live big. To live in my body without fear or shame. To use my voice passionately in alignment with my own values. To take wonderful care of myself for the sole reason that I deserve great care.
I aim to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to look up to. I share my journey to help other women face their own altars of self-deprecation. As these “rules” work so well only because we agree to them, practice them and teach them in our homes.
Revolution through exploration of self. Living by values of our own choosing. Challenging one another to do the same.
The way forward is in. I hope you’ll join me.
Featured in: Huffington Post, Women’s Health, Self, Oxygen Magazine, Girls Gone Strong, Greatist, and Yahoo health.